So If you guys are wondering, I'm not dead, I'm still alive and breathing. Anyways I haven't been on that much lately, becasue of school and problems at home and it really had me messed up inside. I feel like time stopped all of a sudden and pain is cutting through again and again, like a wheel of sadness is repeating over and over again, and I'm so SICK of it! Really I just feel really sick of this thing going on and on, what the hell is wrong with me these days, I hope I don't a fear of school or life itself, I really can't be bothered with school or the outside world, were there's a lot of chaos going on Even though i give up, I just can't find the heart to end it. i really do want to get better, but I can't see that the phycologist won't do any good to me, I've been told that "she's a doctor she'll make you better" As if it would be easy to make me better, but it's not easy, I just feel really hopless, it's not like anyone in the world is going to make me feel any better anyways, probably I'll be like this forever

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